God’s design

When God created Adam and Eve, He created them as one man and one woman. The Bible states God created them both male and female. Genesis 2:24: Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. This verse is clear about marriage. God says the man will be joined to his wife; singular, only one wife not wives, and in so doing sets the standard of marriage being only ONE MAN and ONE WOMAN.

There are no other definitions in the Bible for marriage; this is it, one man and one woman. I have always believed this. The best definition of marriage is: Marriage is where one man and one woman of the same people come together under God’s grace in total love and commitment towards each other to bring about and raise the next generation, establishing social order and the societal structure.

This definition conveys marriage as being a permanent union between one man and one woman of the same people, to provide for the procreation and raising of children, serving as principle building block of society. As a lifelong union marriage positively channels sexual and emotional energy. Marriage also serves as a picture of His relationship with His people here on Earth; Christ’s relationship with the church.

This lifelong commitment can be found in Matthew 19:8-9: “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery: and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.”

Additionally we find the one man and one woman design for marriage in Mark 10:11-12: So He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her. And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”

Adultery is when two people have sexual relations and one or both are married but not to each other. In these two verses, God is clearly stating the original marriage is still in effect; it never ended, marriage is for life. These two verses further illustrate God does not approve of married men and women to ‘marry’ additional spouses. These verses do support the ONE MAN and ONE WOMAN definition of marriage set forth in the Old Testament.

Another verse we read in 1 Corinthians 7:2-4: Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. This verse shows, in addition to the one man and one woman design of marriage, how the husband and wife are to treat each other to produce spiritual unity.

God gives us guidelines on where to look for a spouse.

Leviticus 21:14: “A widow or a divorced woman or a defiled woman or a harlot—these he shall not marry; but he shall take a virgin of his own people as wife.”

1 Kings 11:2: …the Lord had said… “You shall not intermarry with them, nor they with you.”

God never intended there to be marriages between the different people groups. Looking at the key words of this verse ‘a virgin of his (or her) own people’ we see God intends for the man and woman getting married are to remain virgins unto marriage. And with the aforementioned verses, the husband and wife are to stay committed to each other.

Additionally as parents, we are told not to allow our children to marry outside our own people. Deuteronomy 7:3: “You shall not intermarry with them, giving your daughters to their sons or taking their daughters for your sons.”

It is clear God never intended for different people to intermarry. God gave us these commandments in order for us to remain pure. These Old Testament verses are very relevant today. We need to apply these commandments to ourselves regardless of heritage. With countries becoming more and more diverse with different people groups, God’s commandments are even more important today.

Other important verses regarding who to marry can be found in 2 Corinthians 6:14-15: Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? These verses refer to having the same faith when you get married. Believers in these verses refer to Christians, and unbelievers refer to all other beliefs. This also means not  be doing dating and marriage evangelism which does not work. Many people have tried evangelism by dating and marriage, and have found it does not work. Dating and marriage evangelism is where a Christian dates or marries a non-Christian expecting them to convert to Christianity.

As husband and wife, God commanded “to be fruitful and multiply.” (Genesis 1:28). As parents we are to raise our children. We are to teach them, preparing them to enter the world on their own. Proverbs 22:6: Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it. NLT

Children being raised by both parents together are learning how to relate to each other. Their parents show them every day, both in the home and in public, with every person they encounter how to be social. When parents teach their children, their children are eager to learn. Children put into practice what they learn at the playground, at school, when in public, and as they get older, children will refine their interpersonal skills with friends and work. These interpersonal skills are first formed in the home. Without the parents, children will have no identity.

Dating is best defined as a man and woman getting to know each other as they evaluate each other for consideration for marriage.