Moving on. I went to church today. It was the same service as last night. Last night I went to church being distraught. Gong back today all those same feelings came back. So staying at church was difficult. I talked to a pastor after service and got some good advice.

Many dating experts warn you not to fall for someone who exhibit negative traits that you don't like in your parents. Well I have been guilty of that. Even though we are still friends I just can not continue. Last night and this morning adding on to all the other issues I have is not helpful.

The negative trait I am talking about is constantly being told over and over and over and over again, non-stop it seems, the same NEGATIVE thing. My mother did this as I was growing up, and still does this. I don't see the reason why she keeps telling me the same negative thing all the time. This has changed over the years, but she is still negative.

It is this same thing that has made going to church this weekend so difficult.

For people who do this, it is like one public school I went to. The teacher continued to repeat the same concept ALL DAY LONG. Then the next day was the next concept ALL DAY LONG. I understood the first time I heard it. So I never understood why the teacher felt everyone needed to hear the came thing constantly every day. It is like the broken record player. You know when something with the record keeps the needle from moving on and causes it to jump back continuously until someone does something. It quickly becomes annoying. Well that is how I feel and what it has been like. I just can't take it anymore. So I am moving on.

I think it is time to move into a homeless shelter. It is time to get away from this negative place.